"What do other firms do?"
Far and away, this is the most common question I hear from solo and small RIA owners.
It doesn't come from a place of ignorance. It comes from a place of fear. Fear of missing something. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of being a "bad advisor".
I should clarify something here: the advisors asking me this question are all amazing at what they do. They're smart, dedicated, hard-working fiduciaries who understand their clients' needs. They meet with clients often, they have the right tools, and most importantly, they believe in doing deep, holistic planning work. They are the polar opposite of a "bad advisor."
The Monster on Your Shoulder
But Imposter Syndrome is real, and so is the anxiety it creates. It's like a little monster sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear: you don't belong here. you're not smart enough. you don't know what you're doing. you'll miss something.
Here's the good news - Imposter Syndrome is not a sign of incompetence. Research has actually shown that people with frequent imposter thoughts often have better interpersonal skills and higher ethical behavior than their peers. The people most worried about getting it wrong tend to be the ones most committed to getting it right.
Here's the bad news - Knowing all that doesn't make the pattern harmless. Left unchecked, this kind of self-doubt reduces confidence, increases stress, and can quietly stunt a firm's growth. So if you're having these thoughts, what can you actually do about it?
"Imposter syndrome isn't proof you're failing. It's proof you care."
One obvious answer is therapy, which I'm a big proponent of (hello, CFT-I™ here). But talk therapy may not be the solution for everyone. Here are some practical, proactive steps you can start taking today to shrug that monster off your shoulder.
Five Ways to Quiet the Monster
1. Find Other Solo-RIA Firm Owner/Advisors
Talk with them. Share experiences. You'll find you're not alone in these feelings, and you'll get to hear how others like you deal with the same doubts. Sometimes just knowing your anxiety isn't unusual helps tamp it down. Getting the inside scoop from peers also tends to quiet the specific fear that you're missing something.
2. Practice Mindfulness
This doesn't have to be a 20-minute meditation session every day. It can be walking. It can be journaling. It can be paying focusing on your breathing for sixty seconds each hour. Anything that calms the brain-chatter for a bit. This is especially useful right before a client meeting, when the monster tends to be loudest.
3. Find a Mentor / Be a Mentor
This isn't an 'either / or' - it's an 'and'. Find a mentor who has been where you are and has succeeded. They'll assure you that you're on the right path. And be a mentor to a newer advisor. You'll help them grow, and along the way you'll realize you know a lot more than you think you do. This also builds the kind of relationships that are a natural antidote to anxiety.
4. Keep a Catalog of Wins
Keep a running notebook of the good stuff. When you have a great client meeting, jot it down. When a client thanks you for helping them, note that too. When you earn a new credential, pass an exam, or learn something at a CE session, add it to the log. And when the imposter monster starts to creep up on you, pull out that notebook and read through it. You'll likely find the monster quietly slips away as you read.
5. Build Systems That Helps You Succeed
Of course, my favorite way to beat the imposter monster is to build out solid workflows so important client work doesn't fall through the cracks. When you can trust your systems to catch what your memory might miss, there's a lot less for the monster to whisper about. I can help you with that. And I promise not to sit on your shoulder and whisper in your ear, because that would be really awkward.
The Monster May Never Fully Leave and That's Not Necessarily a Bad Thing
These tips will help reduce the anxiety to a manageable level and let you show up for your clients confidently. But know that your imposter syndrome may never disappear entirely. And that's okay. It means you care a great deal about getting things right for the people who trust you.